Pushed Away: Our Love Is True


Pushed Away:   Our Love Was True 

 I am sure that most of the people that have read my posts, or viewed my face book have discovered that I have a soft spot in my heart for Charlie Chaplin.  There's a reason why.  As a matter of fact, there are several reasons why.  I am writing this blog to let you know that it's not because Charlie Chaplin brings so much joy to my heart, or that I have so much fun dressing up and acting like him.  Even though those excellent reasons for me to spend as much time as I do on these projects, there is something more important.  The reason this subject is near to my heart of hearts is because I have a very real connection with him.  This connection is pain, and sometimes a sense of loneliness. It is different than most because it come from a heart that has been beaten down for it's desire to love and make the world a little better.  I will explain..

Charles Chaplin never officially became an American citizen.  I never have been clear on the reasons why.  I have researched his life, however, and discovered how, he, like me, and countless others, have been criticized and disliked because we are different in the way we show our hearts. 

Charlie, like me, had a mother who was mentally disabled.  Unfortunately for him though, he and his brother were forced to live in a workhouse at very young ages. Their mother was taken away, which left them without a caregiver.  Now, I was never separated from my mother in such a way.  I lived with her through my entire childhood, yet strangely, in a very sad way, we remained separated.  Mentally impaired people are difficult to connect with, even if you are in the same room.  And living through that experience does something profound to the mind and heart of a child.  I don't know about everyone else, but I grew up with a shattered identity. I still don't know what I'm doing here.

Don't get me wrong, there have been times when I believed I was beginning to see my purpose in life.  For some reason though, it was as if something, or someone  along and slap my hand back for reaching for it.  This went on throughout my life.  It was only just recently,  I got my hand slapped back for the last time.  Now, I remain in my room writing and doing videos, and have no desire to mingle with the outside world.  The last couple of years, my creative connection with Charlie Chaplin has given me courage to do what I love the most, and be totally happy about it.  If I have my way, I will bring his gift back till the day I leave this world.

I have been wounded by people whose job it is to heal.  I hate to say this, but this heart breaking experience from a group of people we call today a church.  No one can destroy you more maliciously than a so-called church.

Charlie had a knack for comedy.  He was good at it.  As simple as his skits were, the happiness he brought to people.  He brought fun to the silver screen.  America was going through the depression.  People lost their homes, and couldn't feed their kids.  Things seemed quite hopeless.  During those dark times, with no roof to sleep under, in the freezing cold , God sent a beautiful star that sparkled with humor, Charlie Chaplin.  I'm sure there were times, when people were allowed to get out of the cold and into the theater to gain the slightest bit if warmth.

  People would forget they were cold as soon as the screen lit up,  There was this poorly dressed individual who was nothing more than a tramp walking around the streets getting on peoples nerves in his own lovable way.  This is where the magic would begin.  Laughter was like gold to those audiences.  It was the great Depression.  And yet by some miracle, the gift of laughter became just at the nick of time.  Chaplin's unique abilities were just what the world needed.  Laughter gave them strength, and hope that maybe things would turn normal once again.  And for the time they stared at that movie screen, for the moment, things were normal.  

The Depression caused problems, not only for America, but the whole world.  People lost their farms, homes, and jobs.  Famine spread like a wild fire.  One amazing fact still remained.  Charlie Chaplin was making people happy the entire time.  A little Trivia:  Charlie Chaplin was the highest paid actor of all time.  If you figure money's worth then, and now, it's true.  Do the math. 

Remember what I told you about my story in dealing with the church?  Here is his story.   One of his earlier movies, "The Immigrant" brought political unrest because of the depression.  Charlie played an immigrant sailing to America to achieve his dream. When the boat docked, it turned out the passengers were not allowed off the boat. In the film, there was the usual monkey business, slap stick silliness.  Charlie kicked the immigration worker in the seat of his pants, as part of the show.   No harm done.  Right?  Wrong! .  Well, when J. Edgar Hoover saw it,  and he flipped his lid.  To him Charlie was making fun of America. From that time on, Hoover had blood in his eyes.  He hired the F.B.I. to follow Charlie Chaplin around for years to at least try to prove he was communist.  Just between you and me?  He most certainly was not.  I know how it feels for someone to decide they don't like you, and waste their energy looking for everything you've done wrong. 
As the comedian, he became more and more loved.  The people still loved him, anyone with any sense anyway.  As the decades flew by, he, and his FBI tail continued as usual.

Until one day, Charlie and his wife decided to go home, to England, for the holidays.  As soon as the boat left the dock, the FBI got on the phone with Hoover.  It was simple.  Hoover gave the order to lock the door of the U.S. behind Chaplin, and throw away the key.

Charlie Chaplin, the Little Tramp, who brought so much happiness to America during one of the lowliest times in US  history, had the door slammed at his back.

The only thank you the great Charlie Chaplin received was a very heavy burden of a heart broken right in two.  The country and the people that he loved were the same people that broke his heart and crushed his spirit.

He and his family lived in England the rest of their years.  Chaplin concluded that everything he had done as the tramp was no more than a waste of time.  He thought of it as his past.  It was over. "Go through the films", he would tell his friend, "just throw them away."  He figured none of it ever mattered anyway. 

I am happy to say that his friend did not do as he requested.  We still have his videos to lighten up our hearts on a dreary day. 

He, like I, only desired to give the world a gift of happiness and hope. We're still giving it. 

This is Charlie's story.  And this is my story.  With the heart and spirit of Charlie Chaplin pushing me on, we still have stories to tell and laughter to share..


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